daydreams

Posted on October 28, 2009

3


As an aprivot tree stands out in the forest, my lover stands above the young men in town. All I want is to sit in his shade, to taste & savor his delicious love.
Song Solomon 2:3

I was young – still in elementary school. I went to work with my mom that day – which was always super exciting because that meant cuddling up in the back room & reading books all day long. Today though, for some reason, I was sent to the waiting room up front to wait for my teeth cleaning. I rummaged through magazines, read my Nancy Drew, and just…waited.

I got bored after awhile. So, I did what any little girl does in boredom. I daydreamed. Soon, my daydreams casually meandered to my future wedding.

And, you may think I’m crazy – you may think there’s possibly no way I can remember this – but I promise you…this is how it happened.

I was sitting there, smiling at the pretty dress I knew I would probably wear – one that would make me feel like Cinderella. I would probably have my hair up & wear one of those pretty, sparkly princess tiaras too. And then it hit me. An intense anticipation. An earnestness. A feeling of certainty that my future groom was indeed out there & being taking care of & waiting for me.

It was the first night I prayed for my future husband.

At the time, I didn’t know what to call it. I just felt overwhelmed by…a feeling of some sort. Looking back, I know it was the first time I heard God speak to me.

From then on, I prayed for Russ. I had no idea who I was going to marry – but my heart already loved him. My heart was already promised to someone I hadn’t even met yet.

On the other side of the this memory, I am married to my heart’s best friend. I think about all of those moments I was prompted to pray for him before we met – times in high school & college where the earnestness & anticipation & waiting hit my heart with a ton of bricks. I think about the times where he came to my school for band competitions and walked past my own band hall and classrooms – each of us having no idea. I think about the time he decided to eat at Wendy’s instead of Schlotzsky’s after a trip to Schlitterbahn the summer after high school. Had he made the trek down the block, we may have met. I worked at Schlotzky’s at the time and after high school pulled 40 hour weeks in order to help pay for college.

I think about God’s perfect timing.
I think about God’s perfect matching.

And then I think about Russ. His love for life, his desperate need for music, his belief in justice & love & walking humbly with His Lord – all of the things which still make my heart skip a beat. I think about his ability to take risks – to lead our small family & to listen to the still heartbeat of Christ…
I think about his forgiving spirit even in the midst of one of our arguments. I  think about his smile and absolute infectious laughter.

And then I smile. Because my man does indeed stand tall above the rest. I rest against his chest & sigh – realizing I don’t have to daydream anymore.

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Posted in: Marriage