how NOT to spice up a marriage

Posted on May 12, 2009


recently, i have become a commuter. for those of you who may not know, russ & i moved to austin last week. because i still work at the high school where we used to live, i have about two hours a day where i listen to the radio/CD/my own thoughts.
this afternoon was definitely a radio kind of day.

((let me preface the next couple of paragraphs by saying this: i have always been really, really uncomfortable talking about taboo topics. so know this: i must be pretty incensed in order to blog about what i heard today. okay. moving on…))

it was an ad. no big deal, nothing different from what i usually hear. however, this one targeted males. i won’t share the company’s name or website, simply because i don’t want to instigate anyone stumbling. but here’s the deal. it was for an adult store, and they offering a 50% coupon for anything on their website to guys who wanted to “spice up” the bedroom.
it gets better.
if said male takes advantage of said deal, he will receive three…count them…THREE adult videos in order to “gain inspiration.”
oh, and that’s not all. to top off this package (ermmm…) the company promises a surprise so scandalous they can’t mention it on the radio.
….awkward pause….
i heard this on the radio & immediately had the inclination to turn everything off & listen to silence. because, over the noise of the seductive voice my heart began to grieve.
is this what we have come to?
it’s no secret to anyone in the church that porn is a problem. it’s no secret that porn is highly accessible & addiction rates are sky-rocketing in both males & females (yeah, i said it.)
how has something so pure, so holy, so beautiful & significant become so perverse? what made this ad so disgustingly upsetting to me was that they made porn seem like an integral part of any relationship & a TOOL to spice things up.
here’s some truth: you want things to be spicy? focus on your spouse. you want things to get interesting? make time for each other during the day to sit down and…i don’t know…talk. nothing will ruin trust & love & feelings of adequacy than an addiction to porn. we are called to be pure. we are called to remain faithful to our spouses. so. please tell me this: how can watching someone else have sex with another person, filling your mind with these images, possibly be considered pure or safe for a marriage?
it’s not.
so here’s my challenge. if you are married, sit down with your spouse tonight & talk with each other. take some time. listen. look in their eyes. do something breathtakingly romantic to lighten the spark. and most of all, stay pure.
because heaven forbid we think we only have to stay pure until the wedding day.

Posted in: Marriage