a prayer for my sister…

Posted on May 31, 2009

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100_2577This is my sister, Blanche. She is crazy, beautiful, full of life & Jesus. She sees the world through the camera’s lens & loves people with a love rarely seen – a love completely void of judgment or pretense.

She’s my best friend.

And she’s struggling.

For the past few years, one of Blanche’s dreams has been to go to Africa. Like me, she has been completely captured by the people there – and whether it be through Invisible Children or Mocha Club or Compassion or Falling Whistles or any other organization offering some type of assistance, she’s been there – wanting to help the kids and the people who have completely stolen her heart.

About three months ago, she was given the opportunity to go to Kenya. Obviously, she jumped on the chance. She leaves on June 11th & will be there for a couple weeks – ministering to children in an orphanage & playing basketball with the kids in a sports camp. If you know Blanche, you will probably laugh at that last sentence. Why? Because it’s her. Loving on orphans. Playing basketball for Jesus. Yeah. Right up her alley. The fact that this trip is a perfect fit is not lost on those closest to her – which is why she had no issue raising the required funds to go.

But now, almost 11 days before trip, my sister is facing something that she can’t fight by herself. Below, I copied her facebook note she posted in the wee hours of the morning when she suffered yet another night of horrible, gut wrenching nightmares. I say this: she’s told me what she faces in these dreams, what she sees & hears & feels – and I know from the bottom of my heart & the pit of my stomach she is going through something that is not of this world. She is facing spiritual warfare at the deepest level, and she needs prayers. Please join me in praying for my best friend – feel free to pass this along to anyone you think would care as well. She is facing an army right now, and she needs an army to back her up in protection through prayer.

I leave for Africa in LESS than two weeks.
WHAT.
Is all I am thinking…. is all I can think.
And honestly this mission trip hasn’t even happened but I haven’t gone through anything that has tested my faith more.
I mean, it isn’t like I am doubting His strength or power… no no not at all.

…But I have honestly lost count of how many times I have awaken in the middle of the night with one or two things happening.
1. With fear. Overwhelming fear, of something unknown, of something powerful- of something that is bigger than my flesh. …And this entire year I have been able to stand alone in my flesh for the most part because I am “determined, stubborn and strong”. As bad and human as this sounds, I didn’t have to read my Bible every day nor look to Him- I simply was complacent and would call on Him on my need… But right now, this is stronger. It has me opening up my Bible at two, three, or four in the morning. It has me asking questions. It has me praying every night. It has my parents and my friends praying. I wake up and I NEED my Bible. I need verses. I need comfort. I need Jesus. Because whatever was in my dreams, whatever woke me up… was not of Him. And I do not know how to convey to you the urgency at which is has me needing Him. …I will wake go straight for light and then find myself walking in a circle just trying to find my Bible…. opening up to the first verse and reading… anything and everything- whatever can help ease the emotion.
2. Wide awake. I wake up multiple times during the night… and not like once at 2 and another time at 4…. every hour. I wake up, restless. I loose sleep, I simply just don’t sleep. And through out the day I am tired and frustrated.

I feel this righteous anger rising up in me.
This is not right, nor okay.
I feel how serious this is.
Every time I pray….
Every time I open up my Bible…
I ask, I plea for just an answer on why this is happening.
What do you want from me? I am a child of God, washed in the blood of Jesus. He can not harm me, he can not own me. I am His. Greater is the One in me than the one of the world.

…But the storm gets the worst right before the end.
And in this week alone I have waken up every night.
I have had dreams every night.
And while I am resting in the power of Jesus, I honestly do not know why satan is coming at me like this.
For whatever reason this is big.
Something HUGE is going to happen and obviously I am a threat.
The child of the King.
Jeremiah 29:12-13
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and i will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you” declares the Lord. “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where i have banished you” declares the Lord, ” and will bring you back to the place from which i carried you into exile”
…” I will be found by you” declares the Lord.
That is my favorite part.
Psalms 119:105-109
Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path.
I have taken an oath and confirmed it,
that i will follow your righteous laws,
I have suffered much, preserve my life O Lord,
according to your word.
Accept O Lord the willing praise of my mouth and teach me your laws.
Though I CONSTANTLY take my life into my hands I will not forget your law.”

Those are the two verses I have read probably about… 13456787654 times throughout this month.
No, I am not kidding.
They are the ones I keep flipping too. Over and over and over again.
So as this trip draws closer I get more and more excited. I get more and more tense. I get more and more nervous. And the emotions start building on top of each other.
So i guess I am asking y’all to pray. Hard.
Pray for me to be in the right mind set. Spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally.
I have stressed so much the past week over money and school and grades and reports and work and … everything that honestly. does. not. matter.
So pray that I have focus on His work.
Pray that I have good sleep.
Pray against Satan and his plans to disrupt and distract. He’s so retarded he doesn’t even get that this brings me closer to the One I love.
Pray for safe travel.
Pray for open hearts and minds.
Pray for my heart. My soul. My mind.
Pray for strength and courage.
Pray for wisdom, that I know my battles to fight.
Pray for peace and understanding. Honestly this has taken a tole on me. I do not need to believe that lies that I am not good enough nor worth it. I do not need to believe that lies that I have….
lied to much,
“partied’ to much
ignored to much
yelled to much
been too complacent
or too naive
or too selfish
or too hypocritical.
Because I know I am far from perfect,
and I know this path of forgiveness is a long windy road
and that I can and will always be needing to improve my walk with my Saviour.
BUT I am always able to do His work and fulfill my heart’s need to love as He loves.
Putting a face to the forgotten and giving hope to the hurting and loving the broken.
So pray that I will not fall into that web of lies and helplessness.

---Give me the love you pour down on me Lord... so that I can love like you have showed me.---

---Give me the love you pour down on me Lord... so that I can love like you have showed me.---

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Posted in: Faith, Fear, Prayer