(not so) skinny me

Posted on September 22, 2009


it’s been awhile since i’ve posted. i don’t really like posting on the weekends, because those are my days off with Russ. it’s our only days we have together & so i cherish them & horde him as much as possible. then, i’ve just been really busy. like – come home & collapse on the bed & maybe read a couple pages because i’m so exhausted busy. but, you know…it’s whatever.

i’ve purposefully not posted anything related to the whole “skinny me” category because honestly, i haven’t been feeling very inspired. that doesn’t mean i quit, because i’ve still been working…steadily…on watching what i eat & setting goals for myself. but, i promised myself at the very beginning of this new blogging venture (because i’ve had what…five blogs now?) i wouldn’t post anything if it meant absolutely nothing to me. read: if i had nothing to say, i wasn’t going to say anything at all.

it’s a waste of space, and a waste of your time.

but, with that being said…i’ve lost 12 lbs so far.

yeah. i’m pretty excited.

i’m pretty excited because i’m slowly starting to develop healthy habits. i grab some grapes instead of coercing Russ to take me & get some ice cream. i opt for a salad at a restaurant when what i really want is some fried chicken. or a hamburger. a big one with cheese…

but i’ve also noticed it’s pretty easy to lose heart. about a month ago i read a book by krista vernoff called the game on diet. and, first and foremost, this was so much more than a diet book or an exercise guide. it was freakin’ hilarious & more potty-mouthed than some of my high-schoolers. it dealt with the importance of more than just dieting, and it was her book which inspired me to begin setting weekly goals for myself.

these past few weeks i’ve been tossing around something she said in her book. this game her & her friends play – and i am playing now with some coworkers – lasts about four-six weeks, depending on your group. she warned us of the third/fourth week. by this time, we have grown bored. by this time, the one mini dove chocolate we can eat as our “100 calories of anything a day” treat just isn’t cutting it – we want a freakin’ butterfinger. supersized. the fourth week is where you don’t want to put another leafy vegetable in your mouth. the fourth week is where the day off consists of crying into a stack of cookies you know you won’t be able to enjoy in 21.35 hours. the fourth week is where you want to just give up.

but. the fourth week is where these habits become a reality.

i am on my sixth week. these past few weeks have been challenging – no doubt. i have caved far too often for what i want over what i need, & i have pooped out & been lazy when i could very well afford to take Gatsby for a bit of a jog.

but i’m winning the battle. day by day.

and even when this whole idea of moving towards the skinny me i know i have inside seems absolutely ridiculous because at the moment i feel SO unskinny, i keep going. i remember where i was when i started. i remember everything i’ve changed about what i eat & what i choose to put in my body. and i know this time, for the first time, this weight is going to stay off.

now, if you excuse me…i have an appointment with mr. billy banks & my torso. what are you waiting for? get up. start. even if you have nothing to lose – you can always be in better shape. you can always give up soda (yeah, i said it). you can always exchange watching TV for reading a book or playing with your kiddos. what’ll it be for you?

i believe you can do it.

Posted in: Skinny Me