when memory isn’t enough

Posted on November 19, 2010

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Madisson has been a student of mine the past two years. The one thing I’ve noticed is her heart for others. It doesn’t matter if it’s someone who others make fun of or little ones across the world, she treats them all with love. This summer when I was in Kibera, she traveled to Honduras. Recently, she posted this on her student blog. Moved, I asked if I could repost it in this series. It seems to capture so much of what so many of us go through when we are gloriously ruined.

Alexander. Uracco. Nightly DEVO time. La Union. Brayan. Evan. Zona Guerra. Edwin. Chicken and rice and corn tortillas. Every night. “Desayuno tipico.” Every morning. The daily rain shower. Alvin and Josue. Cristian. Honduras.

I can still remember the feeling in my stomach of anxiety, nerves, and excitement as we got on the bus and headed to the airport. I can remember the growing feeling of chaos as we got on our first, second, third, and fourth planes and crept closer and closer to the unknown. I remember seeing the blue water and palm trees of the touristy Roatan, and how it was quickly replaced with poverty- small, beat up houses, children playing barefoot in the streets, and women walking along dirt roads gathering food. I can remember the love I saw in the kids’ eyes when we pulled up to the first church and began setting up our medical clinics. I can remember the frustration of not being able to understand the children who spoke too fast, and that one kid in each village who understood my frustration and slowly pointed out what they were saying. I remember the joy on the boys faces when they learned the rules to ultimate, the light shining in the girls eyes when we pulled out bracelets, and the excitement in the toddlers smiles when we began making balloon animals. I can remember it all so clearly, but memory isn’t enough. Memory doesn’t satisfy your desires to be back once again, and it sure as heck doesn’t satisfy His call for you to be there. My youth pastor told me the meeting for this years trip will be next month, and my stomach lurched with that same feeling- anxiety, nerves, excitement. He will call, and I will answer.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

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